Feeling Stuck in Career? I'll Tell You Why (And It's Not What Your HR Department Says)

Here's something your leadership team will never tell you: If you're feeling stuck in career despite hitting every metric they've set, it's not because you're not ambitious enough. It's because you're playing a rigged game designed by people who've never had to prove themselves twice as hard for half the recognition.

I know this because I lived it for three decades in finance and technology. I know this from coaching and mentoring brilliant women who whisper the same secret to me: "I'm successful on paper, but I feel like I'm dying inside."

And I know this because after building a practice that transforms how ambitious women lead, I've seen what actually works—and what's just expensive Band-Aids on a broken system.

So let's talk about what's really happening when high-achieving women hit career walls. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it.

The Dirty Secret About Why Women Feel Trapped in Their Jobs

After working with ambitious women across finance and tech for years, here's what I've discovered: The higher you climb, the more you're rewarded for becoming someone you're not.

Think about your last promotion. How much of it required you to adopt leadership styles that felt foreign? How many times did you have to dial down your intuition to fit their "data-driven" culture? How often did you smile and nod when every fiber of your being knew they were making the wrong call?

This is why you feel stuck in a job with no progression even when you're technically advancing. You're progressing in their system while regressing as yourself.

I learned this the brutal way during my own corporate climb. I remember sitting on a conference call in 2019, presenting quarterly results that had exceeded targets by 23%. Everyone was celebrating. I was secretly planning my exit strategy, because I realized I had become brilliant at delivering someone else's vision while my own soul was suffocating.

That moment led to everything that followed—including the development of my SoulFire Alignment Leadership Method, which has since transformed how women in finance and tech approach their careers.

The Real Reason You Feel Stuck at Work (Hint: It's Not You)

Let me share something that will probably make you angry: The career advice you've been getting is designed to make you a better cog in their machine, not to help you build your own.

"You need better executive presence." Translation: Stop being yourself and start performing their version of leadership.

"You should be more strategic." Translation: Learn to think like them, even when their strategy is slowly killing your industry.

"You need to manage up better." Translation: Become really good at managing their egos while your own needs become invisible.

When you feel trapped in job situations, it's often because you're getting mixed messages: Be authentic, but not too authentic. Be confident, but not threatening. Be innovative, but don't challenge how we've always done things.

I've watched this destroy brilliant women who started second-guessing their instincts because those instincts didn't align with corporate groupthink. This is what I explore deeply in The Broken Rung: Why Women Still Feel Stuck in Their Careers—how even well-intentioned systems create invisible barriers.

But here's what nobody talks about: Sometimes what looks like self-sabotage is actually self-preservation. Your unconscious mind knows when you're betraying yourself for success, and it will find ways to hit the brakes. I dive into this phenomenon in Self-Saboteur at Work: The Invisible Armor That's Actually Holding You Back.

What I Learned Coaching Women Who Make Seven Figures (And Still Feel Empty)

Working with high-achieving women across finance and tech has taught me something that would shock most career advisors: Money and titles don't fix the feeling of being stuck in your career. Alignment does.

Sarah (name changed for privacy), a VP at a major investment bank, came to me making $450K and feeling completely hollow. "I'm good at this job," she said, "but it's not good for me." Within six months of applying the SoulFire framework, she didn't just transform her leadership style—she became the culture champion for her entire division and got promoted to SVP.

The difference? She stopped trying to lead like her male predecessors and started leading like herself.

Maria (name changed for privacy), a tech executive at a Fortune 500 company, was feeling trapped at work despite running a $50M P&L. She was burned out, invisible to the C-suite, and secretly interviewing elsewhere. After working together for four months, she didn't leave—she restructured her entire division around principles that actually made sense, got recognition from the board, and became the template for how they're now approaching organizational change.

These aren't anomalies. They're what happens when you stop trying to succeed in their game and start changing the rules.

The SoulFire Method: Three Strategies That Actually Work

After 30+ years in corporate finance and technology, I've distilled what actually creates breakthrough into three core strategies:

1. The Authenticity Leverage Point

What everyone else tells you: "Be authentic, but professional."

What actually works: Use your authentic perspective as a competitive advantage, not something to manage.

Here's a strategy I developed during my corporate finance days: Before every high-stakes meeting, I started asking myself, "What would I recommend if this were my company and my money?" Then I'd lead with that perspective, not what I thought they wanted to hear.

The result? My recommendations were sharper, my confidence was unshakeable, and people started seeking me out specifically because I would tell them what others wouldn't.

Try this: For the next two weeks, in every meeting, contribute one perspective that only you would have. Don't filter it for palatability—just make sure it's valuable. Watch how this shifts not just how others see you, but how you see yourself.

2. The Energy Economics Audit

What everyone else tells you: "Time management is the key to advancement."

What actually works: Energy management is what separates the women who burn out from the women who rise.

I developed this after watching too many brilliant women try to optimize their calendars while ignoring the fact that they were energetically hemorrhaging in toxic environments.

Here's the audit: Track your energy for one week—not your time, your actual energy levels. Note when you feel expanded versus contracted. Note which meetings energize you versus drain you. Note which projects light you up versus shut you down.

Then—and this is the part that separates this from typical wellness advice—look for patterns about where your energy leaks are coming from. Energy leaks are activities, people, or situations that consistently drain your vitality without providing proportional value back. These might be endless meetings with no decisions, working with people who undermine your ideas, or projects that conflict with your values.

The strategic move: Start making small shifts to maximize your high-energy periods and minimize energy drains. This isn't about work-life balance—it's about energy optimization for maximum impact.

3. The Contrarian Leadership Strategy

What everyone else tells you: "Study successful leaders and model their behaviors."

What actually works: Identify what's broken in your industry's leadership culture and become the solution.

This is where my background in both finance and technology gives me a unique perspective. I've seen how both industries resist change until someone comes along who's brave enough to challenge the status quo.

The strategy: Pick one leadership "best practice" in your industry that you know is actually counterproductive. Develop a better approach. Test it in your sphere of influence. Document the results. Then become known as the person who's pioneering that different way.

For example, I worked with a tech executive who was tired of the endless meeting culture that was crushing innovation. She implemented "decision sprints"—focused 30-minute sessions with clear outcomes. Her team's productivity increased 40%, other teams started requesting her approach, and she became known as an efficiency innovator.

Your move: What's one sacred cow in your industry that you know needs to be slaughtered? Start there.

The Truth About What Happens When You Stop Playing Small

Here's what I've learned from three decades of watching women try to fit into systems that weren't designed for them: The moment you stop trying to succeed in their game and start changing the rules, everything shifts.

But let me be crystal clear about something: This isn't about becoming difficult or uncooperative. It's about becoming so valuable in your authentic leadership style that they adapt to you, not the other way around.

I remember the exact moment this happened in my own career. I was in a strategy meeting where everyone was nodding along to a plan that I knew would fail. Instead of staying quiet like I had been trained to do, I said, "This is going to cost us $2M and six months. Here's why, and here's what we should do instead."

The room went silent. Then the SVP said, "Why didn't you say this sooner?"

That's when I realized: They don't want us to be small. They just don't know how to handle us when we're not.

What to Do When You Feel Stuck in Your Career (The Real Answer)

If you're reading this and thinking, "This is exactly what I'm going through," here's what I want you to understand: Feeling stuck isn't a character flaw. It's data.

Your dissatisfaction is your inner wisdom saying: "This version of success isn't serving who you're becoming."

Your exhaustion is your energy system saying: "We're not designed to operate this way."

Your sense of being trapped is your authentic self saying: "It's time to break free from conditioning that was never ours to begin with."

The question isn't how to feel less stuck. The question is: What is your stuckness trying to tell you?

For the women I work with in my Aligned Leadership Mini-Mastermind—an intimate 6-week intensive for just 6 ambitious women—the answer usually comes down to this: They've been optimizing for other people's definition of success while ignoring their own internal compass.

And that compass? It's been trying to course-correct for years.

Your Next Move (And Why It Can't Wait)

I'm going to tell you something that might make you uncomfortable: Every day you stay in a career situation that requires you to abandon yourself is a day you're not just hurting your own potential—you're depriving your industry of the leadership it desperately needs.

The finance and tech worlds are crying out for leaders who can combine analytical brilliance with emotional intelligence, who can drive results without destroying people, who can innovate without losing their humanity.

That's you. But only if you stop trying to be them and start being yourself.

If you're ready to stop feeling trapped in job situations that don't reflect your full potential, I offer free Clarity Calls throughout the month. These aren't sales conversations—they're private 1:1 strategic discussions where we explore what's underneath your stuckness and map out your next right step.

Because here's what I know after working with brilliant women and spending 30+ years in these industries: You don't need to be fixed. You need to be freed.

What's the one thing about your current career situation that you know needs to change but you've been avoiding addressing?

Drop it in the comments or message me directly—I see you, and your breakthrough might be closer than you think.

Ready to transform from stuck to unstoppable? Book a Clarity Call and let's explore what becomes possible when you stop playing their game and start changing the rules.